Why are you my clarity?
by jbug2000
Summary: A songfic of 'Clarity' by Zedd. Here they were yet again in the same position, desperately clinging to each other. Him declaring it'd be the last time. Amy can't seem to understand why she always pursues him knowing full and well the end results each time. Or why it always felt so right to be with him.


**Author's Note: Hey, if you can listen to the song while reading I suggest you do it! Hope you enjoy it! :) **

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own 'Doctor Who' or the song 'Clarity' by Zedd!**

_High dive into frozen waves where the past comes back to life_

_Fight fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it every time _

_Hold still right before we crash 'cause we both know how this ends_

_A clock ticks 'til it breaks your glass and I drown in you again_

Here they were yet again in the same position, desperately clinging to each other. Him declaring it'd be the last time.

_'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need_

_Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why_

Though each time he would say that it was the last time they both knew the promise wouldn't last as they felt themselves tangle into each other.

He wishes that he didn't need her as much as he did. He wishes that he had the strength to keep telling her 'no'. He _wishes_ he didn't have to keep hurting her the morning after but in the end their still just wishes that never seemed to become fulfilled.

Amy can't seem to understand why she always pursues him knowing full and well the end results each time.

Him telling her it was a mistake listing all the reasons it was _wrong_ or stating the fact that she had a fiancé. Or the swelling lump that forms in her throat and the pang of hurt as well as anger and frustration that always hits her at the end of his rants that always leave him breathless almost it seemed.

_If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?_

And even though he can't help but so eloquently put it out there all the reasons _why_ it would never work between them she can't help but to question _why_ it always felt so _right_ to be with him. Even though she _knows_ that it wasn't supposed to last with them. That it was destined to hurt in the end.

_If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?_

If what they were doing was so crazy, if what she _felt_ was so crazy then why did it always calm her down and make her feel so at ease. Or _why_ when it came to life or death situations and she needed to calm down it was always _him_ that came to mind and not her fiancé.

_If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?_

_If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?_

She asks him all of these questions that've been plaguing her mind one day only for their once tame argument to become a full scale blown out war. Where they refuse to talk to each other for hours on end sometimes even a few days go by until a truce is met.

_Walk on through a red parade and refuse to make amends_

_It cuts deep through our ground and makes us forget all common sense_

For the next few days or hours it's like walking on egg shells that unbreakable tension just sits as neither of them say anything both parties refusing to admit defeat or to _apologize_. Though they can both admit that it tended to get way out of hand way too quickly.

_Don't speak as I try to leave 'cause we both know what we'll choose_

_If you pull then I'll push too deep and I'll fall right back to you_

Amy had yelled for him to take her home and all he did was clench his jaw and start to push buttons on the TARDIS. Oh, she was livid and as soon as she felt them land she started stalking to the door only to be stopped by a gentle yet firm hand on her wrist.

_'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need_

_Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why_

Amy swiveled around trying to get her wrist out of his grasp and to start hitting his chest only for him to grab the other wrist. Through all of this she had been yelling at him. Yet he kept saying her name softly yet firmly, demanding attention.

She wishes she could ignore him as he says her name.

She wishes she could ignore the way his thumbs rubbed her wrists soothingly. That she could just turn away from him and walk into her home and let him suffer but as she looks up into his beautiful blue/green eyes her resolve melts.

_If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?_

_If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?_

He apologizes which would normally fill her up with a swell of victory but instead it makes her want to scream. Here they go again in the same pattern that confused yet drawled her in. Forcing them to be subject to the inevitable pull between them.

_Why are you my clarity?_

_Why are you my remedy?_

_Why are you my clarity?_

_Why are you my remedy?_

_If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?_

_If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?_

At some point she knows that this has got to end. That their tug of war game had to stop somewhere at some time. But she can't bring herself to care as he pulls her into a loving kiss that sent shivers down her spine, they were together NOW and in this moment that's all that mattered because with him, with _her_ Raggedy Doctor this moment could last as long as they wanted.

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Sorry if it was confusing it's my first 'Doctor Who' fic thing again sorry if they were ooc! R&R please! Constructive criticism welcome! **


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